When you think about writing a will, money and property are usually the first things that come to mind: who gets the house, the savings, the family heirlooms. But for parents, there’s a far bigger question hiding behind all of that: who would look after your children if you weren’t there to do it yourself?
It’s an uncomfortable thought, and most of us would rather not dwell on it. That’s exactly why so many parents put off naming a guardian, or assume that family members would simply step in and sort things out.
The reality is more complicated than that, and without clear instructions in your will, the people you’d want raising your children might not be the ones who end up doing it.
What does a guardian actually do?
A guardian is the person you choose to take responsibility for your children if both parents die before the children turn 18. In practice, that means stepping into the parenting role: deciding where the children live, how they’re educated, what medical care they receive, and how they’re brought up day to day.
It’s a significant responsibility, and it’s a deeply personal choice. Naming a guardian in your will lets you decide who is best placed to raise your children in the way you would have wanted, rather than leaving it to chance or to other people’s interpretation of your wishes.
What happens if you don’t name one?
If there’s no surviving parent with parental responsibility and no guardian named in a will, no one automatically has the legal right to make decisions for your children. That gap can cause real problems at the worst possible time.
Well-meaning relatives might disagree about who should take the children in. Those disagreements can turn into disputes, and in some cases the family court has to step in to decide. While the court will always put your children’s welfare first, it has to make that decision without knowing what you would have chosen. The outcome may not be the one you’d have picked. The process can be slow, stressful, and upsetting for everyone involved, children included.
Naming a guardian removes that uncertainty. It gives your family clear direction, reduces the risk of conflict, and makes sure your wishes are formally recorded rather than left to guesswork.
Who can you choose as a guardian?
You can name almost anyone you trust, as long as they’re over 18. Many parents choose close family members, but good friends and godparents are common choices too.
The legal side is the easy part; the harder bit is thinking it through properly. It’s worth considering things like:
- Their relationship with your children and how well they already know them
- Their own values and approach to parenting
- Their age, health, and how settled their circumstances are
- Where they live, and whether a move would uproot the children
- Whether they’d genuinely be willing and able to take it on
That last point matters more than people realise. It’s always best to have an honest conversation with whoever you have in mind before you name them, so they’re not blindsided by such an important responsibility later on.
Can you name more than one?
Yes. Plenty of parents appoint joint guardians, a couple, or two relatives who’d share the role. You can also name a backup, or replacement guardian, in case your first choice can’t act when the time comes.
Having a second choice in place is a sensible way to future-proof your will. Circumstances change, and a substitute appointment means there’s no scramble to work things out if your original guardian is unable or unwilling to step in.
Does a guardian control your children’s money?
Not necessarily. A guardian is responsible for caring for and raising your children, but that’s a separate matter from managing any money or assets you leave behind.
That financial side is usually handled by trustees, who look after whatever you leave for your children until they reach the age you’ve set in your will. Sometimes the same people act as both guardian and trustee, but not always, and it’s worth thinking about whether that’s right for your family.
Careful drafting makes sure there’s proper financial provision in place to support your children’s upbringing, without putting all the responsibility on one person’s shoulders.
Keep it under review
Life moves on, and your will should move with it. A guardianship appointment that made perfect sense a few years ago might not fit your circumstances now.
It’s worth revisiting your will after big life events, a marriage or divorce, the birth of another child, a guardian moving away or abroad, or a change in your relationship with the person you’d named. Keeping things up to date is what makes sure your will still does its job when it’s needed.
How Dudden Law Can Help
Naming a guardian is one of the most important decisions you’ll make as a parent, and it deserves more than a tick-box approach. At Dudden Law, our wills and probate team takes the time to understand your family, talk through your options, and make sure your guardianship and financial arrangements work together properly — so your children are looked after by the people you trust, in the way you’d want.
Based in Cardiff and serving families across South Wales, we offer clear, jargon-free advice and a friendly, unhurried conversation about getting your affairs in order. Welsh-speaking clients are welcome to work with us in Welsh.
We know that thinking about worst-case scenarios isn’t easy — but putting the right arrangements in place can give you real peace of mind. At Dudden Law, we offer a free first consultation, a no-obligation chance to talk through your situation and understand your options.
Our friendly team is based in Cardiff and supports clients across South Wales and beyond. Book your free consultation or call 02921 320 150.
Insights from Carrieanne Greenway
